What is Spoon Theory? A Guide for Spoonies, Chronic Illness and neurodivergent people

Ok let me ask you something. Have you ever woken up in the morning and already felt like you’d run a marathon? Like, you haven’t even got out of bed yet and you’re already exhausted? Well that’s how I feel so welcome to my world and the world of tens of billions of spoonies.
If you’ve never heard the term “spoonie” before, don’t worry — I’m going to explain everything. Grab a coffee(tea or juice if you prefer), get comfy (I’ll be on my lush new sofa, obviously), and let’s talk about the Spoon Theory.

So where did Spoon Theory come from?

Spoon Theory was first created in 2003 by Christine Miserandino, an award winning writer, lupus patient and advocate. She was enjoying a night out with a friend when her friend asked her what it actually felt like to be sick.
She grabbed every spoon she could find from the tables around them and handed them to her friend. She explained that when you live with a chronic illness, you have a limited ration of energy — and every single thing you do costs you a spoon. Getting dressed? A spoon. Making breakfast? A spoon. Having a shower? Oh, that’s probably two or three (or 5 if like me you have long hair that needs to be dried after) spoons on a bad day, let’s be honest.
Her friend started making choices — if I use a spoon on a shower, I might not have enough left for cooking dinner. And suddenly, she got it. She really got it.
And just like that, Spoon Theory was born. If you want to read more about Christine and the original story, you can find her at www.butyoudontlooksick.com — well worth a read into if you like a deep dive like I do! (Internet is low on spoons today apparently so I’ll add a like when I can 🫠)

But what does it actually mean for those of us living with chronic illness?

For those of us with MS, fibromyalgia, lupus, ADHD, autism, ME, or any other chronic or invisible illness — our spoons are limited. And unlike our healthy friends and family, we can’t always just “push through” and get more. A nap doesn’t re energise us. When they’re gone, they’re gone.
I live with Multiple Sclerosis, so if I start my day with 12 spoons, the simple day to day things like getting up, getting dressed, brushing my teeth, washing and leaving the house already use up half of them, at least. Then I have to decide what’s more important for the rest of the day — cooking, bathing, working, socialising, even walking my dogs all cost multiple spoons, so I for sure can’t do it all. I have to choose.
And the thing with MS is that no two days are the same — sometimes things are less or more spooneriffic! (Yes that’s a word now 🤣)
The beauty of Spoon Theory is that it works for everyone differently. Someone who is autistic and living in a neurotypical world will find different things cost more spoons than me. The same goes for someone in chronic pain or living with depression. The scope really is endless and completely individual.

Why does this matter?

Because invisible illness is called invisible for a reason. We look fine. We might even seem fine. But inside, we’re constantly doing this mental calculation — if I go to that event, will I have enough spoons left to make tea for my kids tonight? The answer is probably no so I love a cheat in the kitchen 🤣

If I have a shower this morning, can I still take my youngest to school?
It’s exhausting. And it’s lonely when the people around you don’t understand it.
Spoon Theory gives us a language. And language matters.

How do I explain Spoon Theory to someone who doesn’t get it?

Honestly, just send them this blog post! 😄
Or try the original spoon method — grab some spoons from your kitchen drawer and walk them through your day. It sounds daft but it works. When people can physically see the spoons disappearing, the penny drops.

A little something from me

My customers and I resonate so much with Spoon Theory that it inspired a couple of my favourite designs — Not Enough Spoons to Give a Fork (if you know me, you know I love a play on words, especially a swear word 🤣) and Never Enough Spoons, which was actually created especially for a specific customer as a gift and I loved it so much it became a core design.

Here at Something Profound, everything I design comes from this place. From lived experience. From the sofa, from the bad days, from the moments where you just need someone to get it.
That’s why we have our Spoonie Safe Space Facebook group — a place where you can come and just be understood, no explanations needed. Come and join us if you haven’t already. We’d love to have you.
And if you need a t-shirt that says what you’re feeling when you haven’t got the spoons to explain it yourself — well, that’s what we’re here for. 💖
Tell me how you use your spoons!
Sam x

Written by Sam, founder of Something Profound — MS warrior, mum of a neurodiverse household, professional napper, and proud spoonie.